Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
