my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
