so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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