Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
