All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
