One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
