If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You dont lie about slip and slides
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
