and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
