I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
