I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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