She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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