You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
