Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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