Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How's work?
Spinning.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
