im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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