This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
