i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
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In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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