hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
