I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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