this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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