Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize