So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They took my balls.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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