miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
