There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
