i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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