Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Found the puke drawer
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.