Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
