He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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