kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
