maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
