he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
