i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
