I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
