Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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