sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
