she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just found a bag of teeth...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
