I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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