Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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