Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
