the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
