I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
