Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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