The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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