if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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