I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you traded sex for a burrito?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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