Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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