Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
