i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize