I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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