therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
