Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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