The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize