i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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