I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's like iHOP with fire
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
