I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was like eating out sand paper
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
