She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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