why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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