After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize