and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
