she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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