You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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