hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
