My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
