from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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