Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
