remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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